Apologies to our good pal Kay, who is a much more reasonable Crazy Cat Lady...

I am really hoping they gave this lady a nice stay in the hoosgow and the mother of all fines.

Courtesy of the great site, E-mails from Crazy People. 

Can you hand me my underwear, please?

...please go a-knockin' -- on the door of the nearest paramedic, because we are seriously hurt here.

Man Says Wild Sex Caused SUV Accident

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

(09-18) 16:55 PDT Moscow, Idaho (AP) --

A 22-year-old carnival worker blames two friends having sexual intercourse in the back seat of his car for an accident in which his Chevrolet S-10 Blazer struck a telephone pole.

Joshua D. Frank, who is living in a trailer parked on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. That's after he left the vehicle at the site of the mishap. He was fined $188.

Frank told Moscow Police Department officers that he was driving the vehicle near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle.

According to a probable cause affidavit, Frank told authorities that the actions of the pair in the back caused the Blazer, which "was top heavy anyway," to become "tippy" and lose control.

Frank left the accident scene with a minor head wound and returned to his trailer.

The other two occupants of the vehicle were treated for injuries, according to the affidavit, though further information on their condition wasn't available.

Vincent... is that you, boy?

Maybe it's been because C'pher and I have been watching nothing but seasons 1 and 2 of "Lost" for the last month (yes, I finally got him to watch it... and he's more obsessed than I was), but when I saw this story, I couldn't help but wonder if it didn't crawl out of some Dharma Initiative lab somewhere.

(05-30) 15:42 PDT Birmingham, Ala. (AP) --

State wildlife officials said Wednesday they want to know how the huge hog dubbed "Monster Pig" got into a fenced hunting preserve where it was chased down and shot to death by an 11-year-old boy.

Congratulations, Son... you've just won yourself a round-trip ticket to Australia, courtesy of Oceanic Airlines.  Be sure you check a nice case full of guns and knives. Especially guns, though.

Almost Heaven...

Cuffed Man Jumps in River, Then Swims Back

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

(09-27) 12:52 PDT Charleston, W.Va. (AP) --

A man arrested for allegedly breaking into a Cross Lanes store broke free from deputies and jumped into the Kanawha River, only to come back when he apparently realized he would not get far because his hands were handcuffed behind his back.

Deputies waited for him on the riverbank and took him into custody again, according to a criminal complaint filed by Kanawha County Sheriff's Deputy J.R. Powell.

David Douglas Griffy II, 23, of Cross Lanes was arrested around midnight Sunday. Police believe he smashed the Dollar General store window with a tire tool so another man could steal cold medicine used to make methamphetamine.

He was charged with breaking and entering and fleeing deputies, both felonies. He was being held in the South Central Regional Jail on Tuesday on a $45,000 bond.

I suppose I could think of a worse place to be born out of wedlock than Fresno, but....

Wrong man paying Scott Peterson's mistress child support

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

09-21) 12:55 PDT Fresno, Calif. (AP) --

The mistress of convicted murderer Scott Peterson is back in the spotlight after a DNA test showed that her first child was not fathered by the man who has been paying child support.

Fresno hairstylist Anthony Flores, 29, has been paying Frey $175 a month for nearly four years, his attorney, Glenn Wilson, said Wednesday.

The father of the 4-year-old girl is actually Fresno restaurant owner Christopher Funch, Wilson said.

No one answered the telephone at Porky's Rib House on Wednesday, and Funch did not have a listed home number.

"You'd think that Amber Frey's notoriety would have died down," Wilson said. "Unfortunately, she's like a bad penny, she keeps coming back."

Wilson said Flores was preparing to file a court motion seeking visitation rights, which he has been denied, when the man received word last week that he was not the child's father.

"Amber always asserted to him that he was the only guy she was sleeping with during that time period so Anthony's never had any reason to question it," Wilson said. "Anthony's big thing is that his reputation has been harmed. This poor guy can't go anywhere without people pointing at him."

Flores said he feels duped.

"She was very convincing when she told me I was the only person who could be the father," he said. "I want an apology."

Frey, a massage therapist from Fresno, was Peterson's mistress when he killed his pregnant wife, Laci, in December 2003. Her testimony helped prosecutors convict the fertilizer salesman, who was sentenced to death.

Frey's attorney, Gloria Allred, said Wednesday that her client never intended to deceive Flores.

"Amber, in good faith, always believed that Mr. Flores was her child's father," Allred said.

Frey also has another child by a different man.