13 posts tagged “funny”

I've gone and done it again... I've written another semi-humorous gem for the Queer Eye On Comics feature over at Prism Comics' website. This time, not content to poke fun at questionable crap like Cage and Rob Leifeld's vast body of work, I take on a little book called Action Comics #1. It stars some crazy guy who... get this... wears his underwear on the OUTSIDE of his pants!  And his undies are RED!  That spells comedy gold.

The article is due to go up tomorrow, but you can get a sneaky preview here.  For more of my work in this regard (say you need something to get you to sleep and can't find your copy of War and Peace), see my post celebrating four years of writing for the series.  And they said it couldn't be done!

Or... did they say it shouldn't be done?  I can never remember.

I discovered a new (to me) comics blog this week -- 4thletter! -- but more to the point, I discovered this amazing song at a new (to me) comics blog. How this Animaniacs classic has passed me by all these years I'll never know. But thank God for it now!

 

With WonderCon happening this very weekend here in San Francisco (I only managed to make it there for an hour or so yesterday at lunch!), I'm reminded that it's so rare that I mention here that I am an avid comics reader that the 1-1.5 casual visitors I get per year might not know. So... now you know.

When I was a member of NORTHSTAR, an APA for gay comic book readers, I would routinely write lots and lots and LOTS about comics, but since I left the group a while back, I haven't done very much of it. Considering that the portion of my money that doesn't go to keeping up our household or feeding my ever-expanding face goes directly to Isotope these days, I feel I should rectify that.

In actuality, I haven't been COMPLETELY away from comics writing: for the last four years, I've been a contributor to the (I hope) humorous and irreverent review column Queer Eye on Comics over at prismcomcs.org. Prism is a nonprofit that exists to promote the work of GLBT folk who make comics. After all... most comics buyers only have a limited amount of money to spend on comics, so we'd like to see to it that they know who their "brothers, sisters and misters" are in the industry, so to speak. High profile homos in comics of all kinds means a higher profile for all of us.

While most other posts on the Prism site are either news items or serious reviews, the Queer Eye column is meant to be funny. I'm no Dane Cook (and thank god, really), so I can only write funny about bad comics. Really really bad comics. So... my list of reviews is a cavalcade of non-hits: from Liefeld to Lee & Miller and back again.  I'd like to think that each of my picks has SOME redeeming quality, even if that quality is that it so shitty as to make my job of poking fun at it that much easier. I'm a yuppie gentrifier... the biggest challenge I want in my life is figuring out how to make sure TiVo records Lost.

When James Sime, the guy who runs my aforementioned LCS, responded so positively to a column I wrote recently, it occurred to me I hadn't done much here to list all the reviews I've done. As the series approaches it's 4th anniversary (woot!), I suppose it's as good a time as any to take stock. 

A note: because of a computer snafu (don't you hate them?) a while back, all the accompanying pictures on many reviews, including mine, were deleted. The editors at Prism have done quite a lot to restore them, but it's a big job, and we're all volunteers here, so let's just all settle down, 'kay?

March '04   The Dark Knight Strikes Again #1
What better way to start of my career of reviewing crap comics than with one of the hugest shit-bombs of all time. What made it so so much worse was that The Dark Knight Returns was so awesome. You know, Frank Miller... some people don't let success go to their  head. 

June '04   "The Secret Lives of Superman" from DC Blue Ribbon Digest #8, parts 1 and 2.
An easy target... this digest contained a bunch of fun stories where Superman was either dressed as some other hero or had to change his outfit for some reason -- including one that I believe to be the original "outfit you wouldn't want to be caught dead in."

August '04    Rob Liefeld's Avengers #1
I am so proud of this one... a take off on the fabulous Harper's Index from Harper's Magazine.  Finally, mathematical proof that Rob Liefeld totally and unequivocally sucks.

November '04   Crimson Plague #1
Face facts people: even George Perez is not perfect!  Meant to be something of his magnum opus, Crimson Plague, which he both drew AND wrote, was a total trainwreck. A beautiful beautiful trainwreck.

January '05    Power Company
I'm ready to admit it: this review was pretty much written to justify having followed this entire series to my friend Stephen, who loved to give me shit for buying it, though it was written by the excellent Kurt Busiek.  It was not good. There, I said it.

March '05   DC Blue Ribbon Digest #67 starring the Legion of Super-Heroes
For the geek set, this is probably my most useful and informative piece. It offers a quick list of ways fanboys can pepper their conversations with witticisms making fun of the '60s LSH. Nothing gets girls quicker than a good Starfinger joke, guys!

May '05   Wonder Woman (vol. 1) #207
This is also a favorite of mine. I use WW's progression through a bizarre story as a workout regimen to get you ready for beachwear. Be sure you consult your doctor first: she builds the Great Wall of China as her cool down. THAT is hard core, people.

July '05    Ninja #1
You know when you go to a con and all these eager young things are there at their sad little table with their weird little comic they wrote and drew themselves based on ideas they had when they were 10 and now it's like 10 years later and the comic is here and it's not very good? This is one of those.

September '05   DC Comics Presents #47 starring Superman & The Masters of the Universe
What's funnier than He-Man and Battle Cat? The get-up that Man-At-Arms has to wear, that's what.

November '05    Adventure Comics #406 starring Supergirl
I should really get to replacing the scanned artwork in this review, since that's what the review is mostly about.  The disturbing cover does not really fully illustrate (get it?) the weirdness within.  Plus... a girl named Nasty!  I'm not kidding.

January '06   Wonder Woman (vol. 1) #219
I return again to the fertile ground of Wondy's original, pre-Crisis series. This is the one where she goes into some crazy backward dimension where women are cruelly treated and subjugated by men. Huh?

April '06    DC Comics Presents #35 starring Superman & Man-Bat
Oh 1980s... you surely did provide some suck-ass comics. The plot in this book is so bad, you almost don't notice the hands-down ugliest super-villainess costume of all time.  Well, I noticed, I guess.

June '06  "Which One?"
This is me at my absolute laziest: I couldn't even pick a comics out of my supply to write about, so, using a midterm election as inspiration, I wrote a four-sentence description for five different comics and had people write to me to vote on which I should review next. Subsequently, I used three of the five in the column (including my latest offering), which makes some wonder why I didn't just write a real review right then. Whatever, people. Just you wait -- I can get lazier. Really.

August '06  DC Comics Presents #45 starring Superman & Firestorm
This was the winner of June's election; the Green Party candidate.  Published on my birthday, this review features me making fun of the villain's name and costume. What a shocker.

October '06   Cage #3
This was another contender in June's contest. I'd say it was the runner up, but honestly... no one voted for it. Once I read it, I knew why. I mean... Kickback?  Sheesh.

December '06   DC World's Finest Digest #23
I do love me some DC Digests and this one was an attempt to jump onto the then-ongoing 52 bandwagon. The Supernova character  reminded me of Nova, an identity Superman took on in an imaginary story that turned out, upon re-reading, to be way more sexually suggestive than I remembered. Hm.

February '07    X-Men: The New Age Vol. 1
I actually bought this because I was in an LCS here in San Francisco and accidentally knocked a bunch of trades down from an admittedly flimsy shelf.  The shopguy was courteous but clearly put out, so I thought I'd drop $13 and change for all the trouble I caused.  Boy did I pay.

April '07   Adventure Comics #393 starring Supergirl
Ah... Supergirl stories. You never fail to disappoint. Well, you DO disappoint, but in the way that doesn't disappoint, if you know what I mean. In this review, I use the term "sister-friend of steel," officially coining the phrase.

July '07   World's Finest #142, parts 1 and 2
When, during the JLA/JSA crossover last summer ("The Lightning Saga") I noticed that Superman had statues in the Fortress of Solitude of the Legion, I was reminded of the awesome story of the Composite Superman, who got his powers from similar statues. Interesting fact: some great guy has scanned every page of this comic and posted them on the web, and I pulled my scans for the review from his site. Thanks, Interweb!

October '07  All-Star Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder
I return to my roots in making fun of Frank Miller in this shooting-fish-in-a-barrell review of a truly terrible series. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but the guys at my oft-mentioned LCS gave me these issues for free when I asked for a suggestion on a bad comic to review. See... loyalty to small businesses pays off!  I think.

December '07    Animal Sounds and The Masked Mutant #1  
Ever hear of these books? No? That's because they were done by a 6- and 7-year old respectively.  I basically treat them like they are legit books, and I think the result is pretty funny.  This is the review that James at Isotope liked so much, even linking to it on the store's own blog. Another one of my favorites.

February '08  Magnus, Robot Fighter #1
My latest if not my greatest. I titled the review "Mitt Romney, Robot Fighter!" and when he dropped out of the Republican presidential race just days before the review was to go up, I had to do a little bit of editing. That's just the kind of up-to-the-minute coverage you can expect from Queer Eye on Comics!

Coming one day soon... reviews of comics I actually like. Won't that be fun for a change?

MC Escher is also my favorite MC.

Best. GIF. Ever.

Looks like someone needs to get their nap on.

Parental advisory for language and rude social behavior by a toddler in a housedress.

HO-kay. Just because I haven't been posting doesn't mean I haven't been writing, right? This is our busiest time of the year at work, and since my evenings are mostly spoken for, my blogging time has been seriously curtailed these past several weeks.

Nevertheless, I have started and not completed many posts, and my Idea Bank is always full to bursting. So watch this space as I complete and post several of these, which may or may not be post-dated. Those of you who use Bloglines will know when new stuff gets posted, but the rest will just have to troll along.

I am spurred to these actions since I've recently heard from no fewer than two old friends who have somehow stumbled across my little corner of cyber-vanity.

My cousin Bryan back in West Virginia, who works for a Catholic university, actually attended one, posted the funniest comment to the most recent Found Porn entry, saying:

...since I still work for the Holy Roman Empire, I'd say 98% of my fund raising job is to apologize for things I have no clue about.

Bryan, while it's nice to hear someone involved with the Church of Rome ask for forgiveness of the rest of us once in a while, you don't have to apologize. I'm glad, though, that you are backing up my theory of Customer Service. Plus, you remind me how much Found Porn I have collected. That's a good thing.

Meanwhile, the ever-lovely Kari found this site via another college friend. Trish, Kari and all my favorite Alpha Gams... what great memories have been brought up knowing you guys have read my ramblings. Doesn't Wesleyan's new president look like someone's Mom or fifth grade teacher?

Thanks for the nice compliments on how I look, but you'll notice that my hair is very different. Above, I am seen in my Reese Witherspoon wig, which I wear on special occasions, like Laundry Day.

Just kidding of course. I'm going bald bald bald. I think it's God's punishment for making fun of Catholics so much.

After Christmas, I got a really nice brown leather belt on sale (how else) at Le Gap, and now I have a question: do I have to wear this thing with brown shoes?

Are sneakers OK? I wouldn't wear it with my black leather shoes, but should I only wear it with brown? It is very casual and should go well with sneakers, but I am afraid the other gays will laugh at me (behind my back, of course).

As you can see, my life is pretty tough.

I am not one of those people who is afraid of saying my age out loud. My life has, by and large, got consistently better and better the older I get, so I figure the best is yet to come, so why not enjoy it.

Last week, as you know, I turned 37 (more on the festivities later), and though I can't pretend the looming four-zero doesn't give me sort of a lump in my throat, I am glad to share that fact with folks I know.

Others, I realize, are different. Based on a funny line by John Cameron Mitchell in "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," Emily and I hereby establish this as the new standard of Describing Your Age Without Giving Too Much Away.

AGE "I'm in my...
30 "I'm 30."
31 ...early early thirties."
32 ...mid-early thirties."
33 ...late early thirties."
34 ...early mid-thirties."
35 ...mid-thirties."
36 ...late mid-thirties."
37 ...early late thirties."
38 ...mid-late thirties."
39 ...late late thirties."
40 "I'm 40."

Based on our formula, Hedwig's line (and not co-incidentally, the title of this post) would translate to: "One day in 1986, I was 27." As you can see, Hedwig's way, and now our way, is way funnier.

Leave the pans at the neighbor's; the kids in the sink... my latest masterpiece for the Queer Eye on Comics coulmn for Prism Comics is going to be posted soon. For the sneakiest of previews, peep dis.

In other comics news, a brand new comics shop has opened up in Hayes Valley... practically on my way home from work. Isotope used to be located in the hinterland of SF's Outer Sunset, but now they've moved to what is quickly becoming one of the coolest neighborhoods in town. It's a great great store, and looks amazing. The staff there is incredible and really go out of their way for the customers. I highly reccommend a visit.

Because of this, I have already bought my first bunch of comics in almost a year, and have read some great stuff. Now readers of my blog might actually discover what my real taste in comics is. Hint: it's not Ninja #1.